2008 Woodie Awards
Dirty Laundry
Overly paid Depp; Metallica music; Smith films
by Ali Ramsey and Drew Nelson
Issue date: 10/9/08
Section: Dirty Laundry
Drew Nelson: As the Grain Belt went down Monday night, the Vikings' score went up - a conundrum of crazy proportions that I'm still sinking my teeth into. Sorry critics, but I can't apologize for including bits about our teams. Missing out on these games is about as exciting as a McCain town hall meeting. The bottom line is even though you doubled up on your "Deal or No Deal" scratch-offs, what happened in New Orleans was a scarcity and the dawn of a new season.
Ali Ramsey: There you go with the sports and politics again. Can we talk about religion next to really make this Laundry exciting?
Instead, I'll talk about how our country is suffering economically, but Disney has no problem shelling out $55.8 million to Johnny Depp for another "Pirates" movie. Yeah he's good looking and a great actor, but I don't think he is worth that much.
Nelson: I thought the buccaneering was to remain a trilogy, but I can understand the itch for more. But such was not the case when more than 11,000 Metallica fans petitioned their beloved machine to remix the slayfest "Death Magnetic," claiming it too loud. How can this be? The won't-quit-til-chords-shatter-my-teeth fans got flaccid? I'm still in disbelief at that headline. There's a term for people who raise a stink of this nature: pansy. I'm sure there are plenty of U2 albums in stock for you at Best Buy.
Ramsey: I would probably think their CD is too loud, but I wouldn't buy any U2 albums. I'd rather get a Foo Fighters album instead, especially since they recently joined the list of musicians angry at McCain. His use of their song "My Hero" has the band more then a little upset. Heart, John Mellencamp and Van Halen are just a few of the other musicians who've had to ask McCain to stop using their songs.
Nelson: Wait a second Ali. We're slipping into "that liberal media" scheme again. Good thing this is mostly opinion, otherwise we'd be in jail, stabbed, beaten or worse. But can you help it? Why is it that McCain's senility overshadows him saying "My friends..." every time he wags a microphone while Obama maintains the squeaky-cleanliness of Monk's suitcase? I'm now going to read Ali's mind and say I'm exhausted. Election day couldn't arrive any sooner.
Ramsey: With all your opinions on politics why are you a variety writer again? Maybe it's time you wrote something for news Drew. And as you shift to news, I'll continue to write about pointless things such as Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift's breakup. I can't think of two people whom I care less about. Oh, wait, yes I can - McCain and Obama.
Nelson: I don't have as much fun in news as I do here. Besides, in that section you can't say Scott Weiland is the whiniest bitch in rock 'n' roll. He's non-receptive to the media, uses heroin more than that guy from Buckcherry and releases "Happy in Galoshes," Nov. 25 - a crabby glimpse of his failed marriage. Hm. I'm not the smartest man in the world, but if you're a jerk in public, I'll bet your wife doesn't see you as saintly behind closed doors. Quitting anything, evidently, isn't in his repertoire. Shame.
Ramsey: Well, I'd rather write for news then sports. I'm not a Kentucky Club fan so I don't think sports editor Josh Berhow would let me write for him anyways. And speaking of food, two people who look like they don't eat at all are in the news. Mischa Barton and Victoria Beckham are in a feud because Barton said Beckham isn't fashionable. Personally, I wouldn't dress like either of them. One looks like a twig wearing clothes and the other just looks like a big mess all the time.
Nelson: I don't agree, but then again if I filled those spots with David Beckham and Barton's blonde co-star from "The O.C.," you'd be salivating. For Halloween, I'm gonna bust out the No. 23 just to prove my point. But seriously, I'm stuck between Legends of the Hidden Temple competitors and the Droogs. Kubrick was twisted but if I could pull off a Blue Barracuda, I'd try to exchange my pendants for stiff drinks on State Street. Hooray for Nickelodeon!
Ramsey: I'm pushing for the Blue Barracudas, but I have a feeling I'm going to lose out. That's okay though, Halloween has never been my favorite holiday. I don't like to bare my body to the world and it seems like that's the point of Halloween if you're a woman.
Nelson: And in the great state of Minnesota, baring it all in October can spell hypothermia. Or a World Series (sob). Anywho, Cottage Grove native Sean William Scott is teaming up with Paul Rudd in November for "Role Models," a comedy in the key of Judd Apatow, only the director is David Wain of "Reno 911!" fame. If it's anywhere near the hard-lined awkward humor of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," Hollywood's comedic bar will be higher than Ziggy Marley in a California grow-house.
Ramsey: Hopefully Wain doesn't start making films exactly like Apatow. Wain his already using one of Apatow's big stars in his new movie, but hopefully he doesn't pick up Seth Rogen too. Rogen couldn't act his way out of a paper bag and I'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard then listen to his annoying voice and laugh again. And even though I say that, I'll be one of the first people in line to see "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." Any film by Kevin Smith is a winner in my book, even if it does star Rogen.
Nelson: Absolutely. "Clerks 2" was clearly as good as the first. I mean, did anyone see the final scene coming with the donkey? Priceless. That's the world we live in folks. When things get priceless, we get tasteless.
Bundle up out there Mankato. The apple orchards are spewing tart cider, waiting to be snatched up. I heard it cures the October blues.
Ramsey: Carving pumpkins also cures my October blues. But really, there aren't a lot of things better then warm apple cider this time of year. It ranks up there with tart pink lemonade on a hot summer day.
Ali Ramsey is the Reporter variety editor
Drew Nelson is a Reporter staff writer
Ali Ramsey: There you go with the sports and politics again. Can we talk about religion next to really make this Laundry exciting?
Instead, I'll talk about how our country is suffering economically, but Disney has no problem shelling out $55.8 million to Johnny Depp for another "Pirates" movie. Yeah he's good looking and a great actor, but I don't think he is worth that much.
Nelson: I thought the buccaneering was to remain a trilogy, but I can understand the itch for more. But such was not the case when more than 11,000 Metallica fans petitioned their beloved machine to remix the slayfest "Death Magnetic," claiming it too loud. How can this be? The won't-quit-til-chords-shatter-my-teeth fans got flaccid? I'm still in disbelief at that headline. There's a term for people who raise a stink of this nature: pansy. I'm sure there are plenty of U2 albums in stock for you at Best Buy.
Ramsey: I would probably think their CD is too loud, but I wouldn't buy any U2 albums. I'd rather get a Foo Fighters album instead, especially since they recently joined the list of musicians angry at McCain. His use of their song "My Hero" has the band more then a little upset. Heart, John Mellencamp and Van Halen are just a few of the other musicians who've had to ask McCain to stop using their songs.
Nelson: Wait a second Ali. We're slipping into "that liberal media" scheme again. Good thing this is mostly opinion, otherwise we'd be in jail, stabbed, beaten or worse. But can you help it? Why is it that McCain's senility overshadows him saying "My friends..." every time he wags a microphone while Obama maintains the squeaky-cleanliness of Monk's suitcase? I'm now going to read Ali's mind and say I'm exhausted. Election day couldn't arrive any sooner.
Ramsey: With all your opinions on politics why are you a variety writer again? Maybe it's time you wrote something for news Drew. And as you shift to news, I'll continue to write about pointless things such as Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift's breakup. I can't think of two people whom I care less about. Oh, wait, yes I can - McCain and Obama.
Nelson: I don't have as much fun in news as I do here. Besides, in that section you can't say Scott Weiland is the whiniest bitch in rock 'n' roll. He's non-receptive to the media, uses heroin more than that guy from Buckcherry and releases "Happy in Galoshes," Nov. 25 - a crabby glimpse of his failed marriage. Hm. I'm not the smartest man in the world, but if you're a jerk in public, I'll bet your wife doesn't see you as saintly behind closed doors. Quitting anything, evidently, isn't in his repertoire. Shame.
Ramsey: Well, I'd rather write for news then sports. I'm not a Kentucky Club fan so I don't think sports editor Josh Berhow would let me write for him anyways. And speaking of food, two people who look like they don't eat at all are in the news. Mischa Barton and Victoria Beckham are in a feud because Barton said Beckham isn't fashionable. Personally, I wouldn't dress like either of them. One looks like a twig wearing clothes and the other just looks like a big mess all the time.
Nelson: I don't agree, but then again if I filled those spots with David Beckham and Barton's blonde co-star from "The O.C.," you'd be salivating. For Halloween, I'm gonna bust out the No. 23 just to prove my point. But seriously, I'm stuck between Legends of the Hidden Temple competitors and the Droogs. Kubrick was twisted but if I could pull off a Blue Barracuda, I'd try to exchange my pendants for stiff drinks on State Street. Hooray for Nickelodeon!
Ramsey: I'm pushing for the Blue Barracudas, but I have a feeling I'm going to lose out. That's okay though, Halloween has never been my favorite holiday. I don't like to bare my body to the world and it seems like that's the point of Halloween if you're a woman.
Nelson: And in the great state of Minnesota, baring it all in October can spell hypothermia. Or a World Series (sob). Anywho, Cottage Grove native Sean William Scott is teaming up with Paul Rudd in November for "Role Models," a comedy in the key of Judd Apatow, only the director is David Wain of "Reno 911!" fame. If it's anywhere near the hard-lined awkward humor of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," Hollywood's comedic bar will be higher than Ziggy Marley in a California grow-house.
Ramsey: Hopefully Wain doesn't start making films exactly like Apatow. Wain his already using one of Apatow's big stars in his new movie, but hopefully he doesn't pick up Seth Rogen too. Rogen couldn't act his way out of a paper bag and I'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard then listen to his annoying voice and laugh again. And even though I say that, I'll be one of the first people in line to see "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." Any film by Kevin Smith is a winner in my book, even if it does star Rogen.
Nelson: Absolutely. "Clerks 2" was clearly as good as the first. I mean, did anyone see the final scene coming with the donkey? Priceless. That's the world we live in folks. When things get priceless, we get tasteless.
Bundle up out there Mankato. The apple orchards are spewing tart cider, waiting to be snatched up. I heard it cures the October blues.
Ramsey: Carving pumpkins also cures my October blues. But really, there aren't a lot of things better then warm apple cider this time of year. It ranks up there with tart pink lemonade on a hot summer day.
Ali Ramsey is the Reporter variety editor
Drew Nelson is a Reporter staff writer
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