College Life: The 8 people in every class

Kolby Spomer
Staff Writer

Throughout your college years, you meet all sorts of people from all walks of life. These people, however, are going to consistently be in your classes, at least until you get out of general classes.

The Chad, Brad, Stacey and Tracey.

These people all wear the same clothes from like the Gap or American Eagle, they all go to the same parties, and honestly you can’t really pick any out in a crowd. The guys end up in their father’s line of work and the gals end up as stay-at-home moms who are self-entrepreneurs and sell their DIY Pinterest arts and crafts on Etsy. They’ll be in Kato or somewhere like it till the day they die,

The SkaterBois and Gals.

These people wear nothing but clothes they bought at Zumiez even though they started skating literally two weeks ago. They own either a longboard or a really short board, but never, ever a normal board. They never really talk either, and it does honestly make them seem kinda cool. Once they do talk, though, the facade is completely broken. Their major is something in Parks and Recreation, but they’ll end up as a manager at like a Target or something.

The guy who isn’t there.

This dude is apparently in the class, but nobody has seen him on days that don’t involve exams. You have no idea what he’s like, no idea if he’s passing, and you barely remember what he looks like. He could be literally be trying for any major, and no one knows what he will become. Probably not a graduate though.

The person who thinks they know everything.

This person is so so so annoying. They add something to the professor’s point whenever possible, they always answer the questions for the class, and they never raise their hands. You hate their pretentious tendencies, but without them your classes would consist of nothing but awkward silences. They end up being something in politics or upper level management.

The American Fighter.

This dude is like 30 pounds overweight, has a military cut, a chinstrap beard, and glasses. They also wear literally nothing but American Fighter shirts, thinking it makes them look really good when in fact it actually just accentuates their moobs to the tenth degree.

The dude who thinks he’s hilarious.

This dude makes the whole class groan inside their heads every time they open their mouths. They NEED to regale the class with stories of their weekends and the funny thing that happened on the Big Bang Theory. Even if the dude lands a joke, you would never laugh cause you are not going to encourage this. He will end up in an office space ruining lives till he retires to his house full of cats.

The Techie.

Everytime you see this person they are wearing the same exact Attack of Titan hoodie, so you start to believe that they honestly don’t have other clothing. They always sit as far away from the front of the room as humanly possible, and never look up from their sticker laden laptop. Said laptop’s background is always a different anime background, and every background is lewded to the point of no return. This person will end up at your house fixing your tech in 10 years, and they will make your child incredibly uncomfortable.


This piece of work sits near the back of the room silently judging everyone else based on their appearances rather than actually taking time to know them as individuals. He sits by himself and leaves as soon as the class is over. Sometimes he’ll try to talk to you, and it isn’t that bad. He is also very sorry if he makes you uncomfortable in any way, trust me he does not mean to at all, he’s literally thinking of nothing at all but these bad stereotypes and stressing about school. He wants to do something important for the world, but will probably end up making lists for Buzzfeed, or a ripoff of Buzzfeed.

Feature photo courtesy of Flickr. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: