How to tell if you should stay friends with high school pals

Friendships are great and they are most definitely needed.

Most humans thrive off the friendships they create with people and a lot of us will have life-long friends from college and even high school. But how do you know when to take those friendships from high school to college? It’s actually pretty simple.

You first need to think about your friendships. If you’re generally happy with them and you feel like you’re getting everything you need from them, then great. That’s a good reason to keep those friends with you while you navigate college. Just make sure you keep up with them and that you are both fulfilling each other’s needs. But if you find yourself questioning whether or not you should continue your friendship, that might be a sign you need to stop and think.

So, let’s say there’s a certain friend you had throughout high school, and they’ve been great, but there are just some things you don’t want to keep dealing with. For instance, they constantly talk about you behind your back, they spread rumors about you or other people, they act childish and don’t keep up with their goals or aspirations, or maybe they’re just annoying you in general. Do you want to deal with that as an adult in college, as well?

College is stressful enough. No one wants to be associated with someone who starts unnecessary drama (plus, we’re adults) or someone who wants to party all the time and becomes a distraction when you’re really trying to work toward your degree. If you feel that way about someone, get that person out of your life. Sure, they were okay in high school, but now it’s college. It’s serious and the time for goofing around and being overdramatic is over.

If you do want to stop being friends with someone from high school, it can be either really easy, or really tough.

If you and said friend are going to different colleges, don’t sweat it. Most high school friendships will dissipate from lack of communication and not seeing each other as often. Even friendships you don’t want to end will end that way. It’s life. But if you are going to the same college, it can be a little tricky.

The first approach would be to just tell them straight up. Let them know you just don’t want to hang out as much anymore, but make it known you still want to be on good terms. No one wants an enemy for no good reason. But if this isn’t really the option for you, you could just associate yourself with new people. Make new friends! Spend more time with them and get to know them. Chances are those people will be better to you than Sally or Bob or whoever it is you’re having troubles with. Hopefully, that friend will take the hint and start finding people that are more like them, too.

And if none of those things don’t work out for you, the best thing is to just try to distance yourself as much as possible. Sometimes, that’s the only way.
But this also doesn’t just apply to when you’re transitioning into college. You may have friends you’ve made in college who you just don’t want to hang out with anymore. You can totally use this advice with that situation as well. And hopefully you can both go on with your lives without it making a huge impact.

Because sometimes friends aren’t forever and that’s okay. People change and grow out of each other and life doesn’t stop for anybody. You just have to roll with it.

One thought on “How to tell if you should stay friends with high school pals

  • October 5, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    Move on. Go to college somewhere away from your hometown. That’s the only way you will be able to spread your wings and fly. People from High school all have pre-conceived notions of you. Meet new people and be who you were meant to be. I celebrated my 35th class reunion this year. Those who hung out with their high school pals are still in the same small town and haven’t grown much. Those who went away to college, found new friends and their true passions have grown and flourished. I especially encourage that for those who are “high school sweethearts”… there’s a whole big world out there. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t worry about what they think. They are your past. The same goes with each phase of your life — when you leave college, you will leave many of those friends behind. I have one best friend whom I am still in contact with and travel with, etc. You’ll meet new friends who share your passions through the years. Move on. Live your life!


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